2012 NFL Draft Diary

Welcome to the First (notice I didn’t say first annual, because that doesn’t make any sense) Seattle Sports & Otherwise NFL Draft Diary. I am writing this portion of the post after the fact, but everything else was my stream of consciousness throughout the 2012 NFL Draft’s first round on Thursday April 26, 2012. Enjoy my mind.

4:23 Pacific Time, Thursday April 26, 2012 (Year of the Dragon)- I’m posted up in the small coal-mining town of Bellevue, Washington to critically assess the 2012 NFL Draft. The draft is the most stretched out, no doubt overhyped but yet infinitely entertaining event in sports. I will talk about the draft pick by pick, mechanically engineered Mel Kiper hair strand by mechanically engineered Mel Kiper hair strand, and each and every god-like glorification of Andrew Luck by ESPN’s fantastic team of nob slobbers. It will be in the style of the greatest sports writer of my time, Bill Simmons’ long standing columns of NBA Draft Diaries; albeit with less analysis of players and more references to a player’s swag and ability to speak English. Without further ado…

4:30 We are a half hour out of the first pick of the 2012 NFL Draft and we already have some news. The Cleveland Browns have traded their 4th overall pick as well as their 4th, 5th, and 7th round pick to the Vikings for their 3rd overall pick. That is, for the numerically challenged, a lot of stuff to move up one spot. This is presumably to pickup Alabama RB (/monster) Trent Richardson. First of all, great move by the Vikings. They still will presumably get USC OT Matt Kalil at 4 and picked up some extra goodies in the process. Second of all, poor Trent Richardson. He just talked about how where he is from most people don’t make it to be 18 years old and now he is going to Cleveland, where most people don’t want to live there for more than 18 minutes.

4:35 LSU CB Morris Claiborne was just introduced, and he has a kid, and also scored a 4 out of 30 on his wonderlic test. The punchline comes free here.

4:37 Roger Goodell gets booed. I guess Sean Payton is in the audience.

4:40 I will take this time to link to some free pub here for the Seattle Sports & Otherwise Mock Draft. Obviously our staff did not take into account any trades so it is certain to be torn to shreds but regardless here it is http://wp.me/p1MIIo-cU.

4:42 Did I just hear Nas and is he really rapping about Andrew Luck? Wonder how many spins Luck has given Illmatic in his Palo Alto dorm…

4:43 Brief glimpse of Alex Morgan in a commercial.

4:49 Just an awful joke by Suzy “Snooz” Kolber. To Ryan Tannehill- “Do you like dramas?”  Tannehill: “Dramas?” Kolber: “Yeah, you could be at the center of it.” Tannehill: “Ha. Yeah.” Have to say though that Tannehill’s sympathy laugh is better than the one my dad has been giving me for the last 18 years.

4:57 Jon Gruden’s hair. What would I have to ask a barber to give me that? “Yeah, I only need like 15 strands of hair and then part it in the middle.”

4:58 More Nas rapping. This is like putting DMX on Radio Disney.

5:03 Colts on the clock. If they take any more time than 47 seconds to make this pick than they should be Old Yeller-d and moved to LA.

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The Debut of the Top 11: All-Time NBA Jerseys

This is the beginning of a beautiful thing. Not beautiful in the classic, Jennifer Anniston sense, but more beautiful in the “Ambiguous sports rankings with considerable bias” sense. My goal for Top 11 is for it to be a reoccurring feature on Seattle Sports & Otherwise, in where I pick a particular category and then rank my personal Top 11 of that category. I chose 11 because I couldn’t pick ten. And it stuck. This particular edition will focus on something very near and dear to my heart, the aesthetics of the NBA. I am a strong proponent of the “Look good, play good” mantra. And I can prove its merit. You will never see the Bobcats win a championship (or ten games this season) when they roll out in these. And yes I do mean players that look like Adam Morrison, who has fully embraced his role of looking like a 1970’s bar owner on the Lakers bench. But no more extraneous introduction is necessary, as the launch of the Top 11 is underway.

11. Early 90’s New Jersey Nets

sellcheapjersey.com folks

This choice is one that may be what some would call, ridiculous. However, the fact is that the early 1990’s New Jersey Nets had a very classic jersey, and also happened to have my all-time favorite player, Drazen Petrovic on that same team. I will admit my obsession with Petrovic is recent, stemming from watching the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary on him and Vlade Divac called “Once Brothers”, but also for the fact that Petrovic had an absolutely absurd season in 1991. He averaged 20.6 points a game, while averaging .508 from the field, .444 from the three point line, and .808 from the free throw line, with a positive assist/turnover ratio. You will never see those stats again from anyone not named Kevin Durant or Lebron James and probably not even them. Petrovic was one of the best pure scorers the league has seen, and I happen to “own” his jersey. The reason for the quotations is the fact that I have not received the shipment of the jersey from the borderline illegal Chinese jersey site I got it from. But as for the actual aesthetics of the jersey, they belong on this list trust me. The red, white, and blue card is played perfectly (which I appreciate), and the sleeve striping is classic and represents the simplicity I miss in most NBA uniforms. Solid jersey, legendary player. RIP Drazen.

10. Mid-to-late 1990’s Toronto Raptors

The Classic Jurassics

The definition of a novelty jersey, but one that captures the swag of the early years of Vince Carter perfectly. Carter only wore these for one season, his ’98-’99 NBA Rookie of the Year campaign, but my god he made them look cool. Granted, this was my favorite team as a young tyke for the reason that there was a dinosaur on the logo and I watched Jurassic Park 8 times a day and walked around like a T-Rex in my underwear.But that doesn’t have anything to do with the niceness of these jerseys. Both the purple and the white versions exude greatness, with the lightning pinstripes and bizarre logo and number placement supplementing the idea that there is a velociraptor dribbling a basketball on the jersey. That is ballsy, and gives a big middle finger to unoriginal jerseys of the previous era. The 90’s were some crazy times folks and these jerseys capture that idea better than any.

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Alamo Bowl Preview

First of all, I enjoy posting this post-Apple Cup where UW smacked the Kewgs for their third straight Apple Cup victory. If I could make it through college without losing to the Cougars I would be satisfied, but then again that’s like being satisfied with Qdoba when you can go to Chipotle. Go Purple, Be Gold (which is a lame slogan, talk to Jackson Blake Seidl about that). I would also like to address the hiring of Mike Leach as Head Coach of WSU. Leach is a fantastic offensive mind who is also certifiably insane. He reminds me a lot of Don Vito from Viva La Bam. Craig James’ son incident aside, the guy is a damn good coach and scares me as head coach of Wazzu. He is perfect for the job and at least in the immediate future with Jeff Tuel and Marquess Wilson, and his Air Raid offense should be productive.

Good Luck, Weirdo

If you’re a UW fan, I’m not sure this is the bowl matchup you wanted to see. The Baylor Bears come in at 9-3 (6-3) fresh off of a win against Texas. Baylor is one of my favorite teams to watch play for their offense that can be characterized by one word: nasty. Meanwhile, UW’s defense can also be characterized by one word: terrible.

The good news is that while Baylor averages 43.5 points a game and 571 yards a game, they give up 35.7 points a game. Yes, believe it or not, they give up more points per game than Nick Holt and the Wonderboys that are UW’s defense. Baylor is undoubtedly able to be scored on (given up 30 or more points in 9 games) but they are a dynamic offense led by the probable Heisman winner, Robert Griffin III.

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Goodbye, Nick Holt

After giving up 38 points to an Oregon State team that had been averaging 17, I am officially done with Nick Holt being the defensive coordinator for UW football. This is Holt’s third year — normally a good threshold of time to give someone in sports to determine whether or not they are worth keeping around — and there has been little to no improvement in the UW defense. You are about to read all you need to know about why Nick Holt should be fired. I expect him to take it a little like this.

I realize that when Steve Sarkisian and his staff took over for Tyrone Willingham heading into the 2009 season, the cupboard was the definition of bare. Like, the bares can smell the menstruation bare. Willingham, who has a great cat (no link but Willingham was once asked how he copes with stress at home and he replied with, “we have a great cat”), struggled in recruiting big time defensive players. So Nick Holt’s first two seasons are basically with all Ty’s players, which would in theory be an excuse for sub-par play. But how sub-par can you be before you have to take a closer look at things? Holt got very close last season, when UW gave up 56 points and over 300 rushing yards at home against Nebraska, or giving up 44 at Arizona, or 41 at home against Stanford. But Holt won a lot of his critics over with the four game winning streak UW had to make and win a bowl game last season, in which UW gave up less than 13 points in all but one of those four games. Things looked great heading into this season, with Holt’s D hitting a stride and the guys he had recruited starting to develop in his system…

Enter this season, where all of that went down the crapper. UW’s defense has been atrocious this year. UW ranks 105th (out of 119) in points allowed this season, having had several terrible defensive performances. 504 yards allowed against Eastern Washington, 51 points (464 yards) allowed against Nebraska, 457 yards allowed against Cal, 65 points (615 yards) allowed against Stanford, 424 yards allowed against Arizona, 40 points (426 yards) allowed against USC, and Holt’s latest gem 38 points (484 yards) against Oregon State. That ticks out to a 430 yards per game allowed average. But how has Holt improved since he got here? Well, let’s see.

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