Welcome to the First (notice I didn’t say first annual, because that doesn’t make any sense) Seattle Sports & Otherwise NFL Draft Diary. I am writing this portion of the post after the fact, but everything else was my stream of consciousness throughout the 2012 NFL Draft’s first round on Thursday April 26, 2012. Enjoy my mind.
4:23 Pacific Time, Thursday April 26, 2012 (Year of the Dragon)- I’m posted up in the small coal-mining town of Bellevue, Washington to critically assess the 2012 NFL Draft. The draft is the most stretched out, no doubt overhyped but yet infinitely entertaining event in sports. I will talk about the draft pick by pick, mechanically engineered Mel Kiper hair strand by mechanically engineered Mel Kiper hair strand, and each and every god-like glorification of Andrew Luck by ESPN’s fantastic team of nob slobbers. It will be in the style of the greatest sports writer of my time, Bill Simmons’ long standing columns of NBA Draft Diaries; albeit with less analysis of players and more references to a player’s swag and ability to speak English. Without further ado…
4:30 We are a half hour out of the first pick of the 2012 NFL Draft and we already have some news. The Cleveland Browns have traded their 4th overall pick as well as their 4th, 5th, and 7th round pick to the Vikings for their 3rd overall pick. That is, for the numerically challenged, a lot of stuff to move up one spot. This is presumably to pickup Alabama RB (/monster) Trent Richardson. First of all, great move by the Vikings. They still will presumably get USC OT Matt Kalil at 4 and picked up some extra goodies in the process. Second of all, poor Trent Richardson. He just talked about how where he is from most people don’t make it to be 18 years old and now he is going to Cleveland, where most people don’t want to live there for more than 18 minutes.
4:35 LSU CB Morris Claiborne was just introduced, and he has a kid, and also scored a 4 out of 30 on his wonderlic test. The punchline comes free here.
4:37 Roger Goodell gets booed. I guess Sean Payton is in the audience.
4:40 I will take this time to link to some free pub here for the Seattle Sports & Otherwise Mock Draft. Obviously our staff did not take into account any trades so it is certain to be torn to shreds but regardless here it is http://wp.me/p1MIIo-cU.
4:42 Did I just hear Nas and is he really rapping about Andrew Luck? Wonder how many spins Luck has given Illmatic in his Palo Alto dorm…
4:43 Brief glimpse of Alex Morgan in a commercial.
4:49 Just an awful joke by Suzy “Snooz” Kolber. To Ryan Tannehill- “Do you like dramas?” Tannehill: “Dramas?” Kolber: “Yeah, you could be at the center of it.” Tannehill: “Ha. Yeah.” Have to say though that Tannehill’s sympathy laugh is better than the one my dad has been giving me for the last 18 years.
4:57 Jon Gruden’s hair. What would I have to ask a barber to give me that? “Yeah, I only need like 15 strands of hair and then part it in the middle.”
4:58 More Nas rapping. This is like putting DMX on Radio Disney.
5:03 Colts on the clock. If they take any more time than 47 seconds to make this pick than they should be Old Yeller-d and moved to LA.